The importance of acceptance cannot be overstated. It is really everything. When you accept what IS, then you are fully empowereed.
So, what do I mean by acceptance, anyway? Well, what I DON'T mean is surrender. It means, very simply, knowing the truth and not fooling yourself any longer.
I see so many people who refuse to accept the truth. They want things to be the way they should be, and they are so distressed and distracted by the unfairness, the injustice, of it all that they never get around to grasping--accepting--the truth of what actually is. They pine for what should be, they are indignant, aghast, and therefore, they are helpless against the situation.
They hold tight to the wish--to wanting things to be different, and then they tell themselves a story about how it can happen. Despite trying over and over again to explain themselves and rationalize with their adversary, they think there will be some magic way they will explain it ONE LAST TIME, and they will finally prevail.
That is a fool's errand--you know the old saying: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. If you can accept that your wish of how things will go is just that--a wish--then you can free yourself from the "hamster wheel" of innefective interpersonal relationships. But that means doing something very diffiucult: Accepting the truth. Then, you can see what you are really dealing with and make a plan.
It is crucial that part of acceptance is to understand the neccessity of discomfort. Discomfort is innevitable with change. Short term investment of discomfort in order to make a permanent, long-term improvement--it's an easy concept, something we all get. Yet we do not surrender to the process. Of course, no one invites discomfort. We, in fact, avoid it, and at all costs. But let's be honest--the problems themselves make us pretty uncomfortable. Are we to remain cowering in our own hell of fear, anxiety, indecision? If you can muster the courage, go forth into the new, the unknown, bear the uncomfortable. That is how we find solutions. That is how we do better.
